INNER EXPLOSION AND BREAK THROUGH
By being with himself in watchful attention, Dada faced himself totally. Without following any prescribed discipline, he saw the activity of his own mind very aloofly, and questioned the projections and workings of the entire mechanism of mind.
In Dada’s own words, “I had to be with myself wholly in order to face myself. I was confronted with the play of ceaseless and countless thought–desires. By watching the drama of thought-mind, without getting involved in it or carried away by it, I began to understand the whole content of myself.
As I was observing the play of my mind, I suddenly realized that the established pattern of thought-emotion was disturbed, and the whole mind-structure was in turmoil. There were no layers, no orderly arranged movements of thought any more. Intellect and logic lost their validity, and the consciousness was in flux. Everything was in intense motion, like boiling water.
The ego itself became highly disturbed, agitated and sensitive. I came face- to - face with fear. I had to sense that fear fully and stay with it without reacting to it. With this challenge, my watchfulness and alertness grew much deeper, keeping me in the moment of the present, creating room – a space in my inner being – to absorb the thrust of thought. This was a prelude to change – a jump.”
Such a jump, beyond the mind, appears to be a totally unpredictable and unexpected occurrence. As Dada describes, “Something inside me literally exploded, giving me the shock of my life. In a split second, a fountain of unknown energy sprang forth from within. This surprising energy flow was of a truly new kind, different from anything I had ever sensed or experienced before. It felt soft, sensitive, joyful and dynamic yet peaceful. It filled me with profound reverence, deep awe and love. Such a mystical and powerful explosion in my inner domain was a miraculous event.”
With this change in Dada’s life came a tranquility, joy and understanding never known to him before. Moreover, his creativity increased manyfold and he began to compose poetry. Thereafter, he continued his inner journey, staying in semi-solitude for 19 years in a small cottage in Mahableshwar.